Another Day in Paradise

Ah, the weather outside is nice today isn't it? Low to mid-70's, a somewhat cloud-cast day, yet bright. This morning I woke up freezing because it was 40 degrees last night and I slept with the windows open because who doesn't when it's freezing outside? Don't you people like to need covers? Wouldn't you rather be cold and have to go to the closet to get another blanket then just sleep under a sheet? I, for one, love to wake up cold, especially in September. If it's January, no, I'd rather be warm, but when all I want is for the crisp morning breeze bearing the smell and sounds of falling leaves to wake me up, I'll take another blanket any day. Wow, I haven't been this cliche in a while...

For the past couple of years, I've made a Top 10 list of things to do for the year. Things like "go on a vacation," "read 12 books" and "go skydiving" are usually in there. This year the book total was 16 since last year I surpassed the allotted 12. I've only finished number 7 on the year, which means I'd better get cracking. So after finishing Byzantium by Stephen Lawhead last night (which was a fantastic book, other than the fact that it was supposed to have taken place in the late 9th century and it had an extremely Roman Catholic feel to the religious aspect of it), I immediately started reading Inner Way by Joseph J. Allen. It discusses the need for spiritual direction in order to walk the "inner way" of our lives, ultimately bringing us closer in communion with God and others around us. Usually, books like this are way over my head and I'll read about three pages then put it away. However, this time I decided to go at it like a school book and take notes and actually delve into the thing deeper than just reading words and trying to comprehend them. Geez, now that I finally get out of school, I start doing with my "pleasure" books what I should have (and never did) done with my textbooks! Backwards world, eh?

I just opened the door. The sky is bluing (yes, I just verbed the adjective, blue) and the browning leaves are calling my name for a walk. But will I walk? Most likely not because I would rather do my laundry, eat some food, read my book, and take a nap. The first part about really getting somewhere spiritually (according to Allen) is to be absolutely true to yourself. Well, I just was. I would like to walk, I know it would do me good and provide me with some good thinking time, but really, I'm not in the mood to leave the house. Sad, huh? I have what most people never get to experience at my fingertips, and I'd rather sleep. Well, there lies something I hope to have change within the next year. I would like to start doing the things I know I should, rather than just not. I dont' think I do a great deal of things I shouldn't do, rather I just don't do things I should do. This includes generalities like keeping a tidy living area, eating right, excercising, communicating with friends and family, and, sadly and very importantly, praying. Now I know I could get a lot of comments on the last sentence saying, "Dude, it's ok! Most people don't do the things we should like eating right, excercising, etc... Don't be so down on yourself!" I'll say it now, I don't feel bad for not doing these things. I just don't necessarily feel good when I don't do them. Still a backwards world, eh?

I want some Guinness. Anybody else want some Guinness? I don't want to spend the money on American Guinness though, so I'll save it for some real Guinness over there. However, in honor of this post, I will go for a walk, eat right, and maybe even excercise today. I'll still take a nap though. That I'll gaurantee.

In the words of Tigger - appropriate because Pooh's Halloween was playing in a Wal-Mart I was working in this morning - TTFN, Ta Ta For Now

C.M.

My Thoughts and Feelings About Traveling the World and the Different Types of Guinness I Drink

Ladies and Gents,

I drink one kind of Guinness: Draught. I would drink an Extra Stout, but I'd prefer Draught on tap, or out of a can; no bottles please. So, as to any questions of that, there is my answer. Oh, one extra bit. . . If offered, I love adding a shot of Bailey's to a Guinness. A true treat. . .

At this time in three weeks, I will be in England, probably asleep because it is 4:30am over there at the moment, but I will nonetheless be within the bounds of Britain. I will leave the U.S. of A. on Wednesday the 3rd at 3:30, and arrive in London on Thursday at 9:45am. I will return to the States on Wednesday, May 7th in the afternoon, four days before my sister changes her last name to Huldeen. When I get to London on Thursday I will attend a mandatory orientation, then tour the city for the remainder of the day and Friday. If my permits and visas permit, I will proceed to the last two days of Oktoberfest in Munich on the first Saturday and Sunday of October, and begin my job search in England/Wales on the following Monday. That is the tentative plan that will undoubtedly change a week from now. I can't wait for whatever awaits!!!
Am I scared/fearful/worried about anything over there? I fear that I will never want to come back to America, but I have so many people to come back to that I will surely return forever, only to wish that I lived in Britain still. Hopefully, I'll be able to see all of Europe that my young self wants to see before I return.
Do I have a job? No. I've been looking through the ads I have been provided with and most likely I will find my job the week after I arrive in London. Moreso, that will be a temporary job while I find something I really want. I'll probably be a server or bar back for a couple weeks to pay some bills and buy some food, then God-willing, I will be able to find something that I will really enjoy doing for the remainder of my time in Britain. I hope it is an au pair job, which is basically a nanny, because then I won't have to pay for food or lodging.
What do I want to do while I'm there? I have a 6-month work permit, so I will stay in the British Isles (England, Wales, Scotland, Northern Ireland, Ireland) during those six months, traveling from place to place, and hopefully see all that I want to see on those islands before I have to leave. I also want to do a couple of other touristy things then, like see the Louvre, spend a weekend in Bordeaux, possibly a weekend skiing in the Swiss Alps, and maybe a small tour of Amsterdam. That way, with those items on the list taken care of, I won't have to spend time during my one-month tour of Western Europe doing them. Besides, I hear the Louvre is much more accessible (and cheaper) during a Wednesday in February than on a weekend in April or May. I mentioned a tour of Western Europe; allow me to take you through one of the many tentative plans to let you know what I'd like to do:
The majority of travel will be train (Eurail) and some flying (easyjet.com provides very cheap fare, e.g. London-Madrid one-way, £13.99, which is about $30. Not bad, and when it takes an hour and a half to fly rather than 10 by train, I'll take the flight. I want to sleep on beaches and in fields as much as I can; also on trains during night travels from city to city, as well as the occasionaly hostel so I can freshen up. As to where I want to go and why, here we go:
1. Fly: London-Madrid: Experience Spain.
2. Train: Madrid-Lisbon, Port.: Experience some of Portugal's capital and largest port.
3. Train: Lisbon-Gibralter: Cross the Strait of Gibralter
4. Ferry: Gibralter-Tanger: See a little from Jason Bourne's side of life
5. Train: Tanger-Casablanca: Why wouldn't I? "Here's lookin' at you kid. . . "
6. Casablanca-somewhere in the Western Sahara: Horseride in the Sahara, Hidalgo-style
7. Sahara-Tanger-Gibralter-Barcelona: Spend a couple days in Barcelona because I was told it is imperative!
8. Train: Barcelona-Marseille: See the Bastille (For AM)
9. Train: Marseille-Avignon: See some of Provence, have some wine
10. Train: Avignon-Milan: Do something Italian
11. Train: Milan-Pisa-Florence-Rome-Naples, stops on Isle of Elba (see Napoleon's exile home, visit Monte Cristo,
become Count of it): Tour of Italy, fall in love, who knows?
12. Train: Naples-Venice Through Tuscany: Buy a villa, beat up a gondola-er for not singing to me
13. (I want to make a trip to Mount Athos, if possible, so a plane to Athens and a ferry to Athos will do the trick. Here is
where that trip will take place)
14. Plane: Athens-Vienna: Yodel in the Alps, or Train: Venice-Bern/Zurich: Open a Swiss bank account, buy chocolate
and a watch
15. Train: Zurich-Vienna (if I didn't before) or -Munich: Drink liters of frothy weizens!!
16. Train: Munich-Prague: Take a picture to prove I've been to Czechoslovakia
17. Train: Prague-Berlin: Cross the wall that isn't there
18. Train: Berlin-Dortmund: Have a Dortmunder (a beer, not a person)
19. Train: Dortmund-Antwerp/Brussels: Buy a big diamond, have some of Brussel's sprouts
20. Train: Brussels-London: Say goodbye, have another Guinness or 12, and fly home.... (I'm sad just writing that)

So, that's the plan for right now, but it will be perfected and switched around for expense and time's sake. I'll keep you all posted. As for now, those are my thoughts and feelings. You are as updated as I am now. Please continue to pray for me that I'll be able to actually find a job and enjoy myself while I'm over there, as well as find churches that I can attend and stay in Communion with you all here at home. I will have my sweet new camera to take tons of pictures and videos, and I will have them blogged and you will be able to see all that I see.

Thanks for listening, and there you go...

C.M.

Just Keeping Up

Today seems like a perfectly fine day to post. First of all, it's a big day for the Midwest Diocese, seeing that it's the day ABJ called for as a "special fasting and prayer" day. I've got the Molieben in my car and I'm saying it when I can. However, I like it so much, it will probably become a staple in my prayers until this whole thing is over with.

I start my last class of college tonight. Looking through the book it looks as if I've already learned it, but IUPUI thinks they need to reteach it to us and of course, make us pay for more credits and $170 for the book. I'll open this book 5 times most likely, and that, apparently, is worth $170. I actually need to attend class and get a decent grade this time so I can say I finished strong.

Life is certainly changing around here. T is gone, so that's always depressing, however J seems to be picking up the slack. Thanks J! (Pan's Labryth soon?) I'm still single, however I feel more single than I've ever felt before, but that is a good thing. A very good thing. My room is clean, and staying that way. And I suppose we could try to metaphorically infuse that into other areas of life and hope for similar results. I've got 26 weeks before I leave for Scotland, although every day seems like it's farther away. I don't know what I'll do there, but until then, I've got a ton of planning to do. I looked up several movies today that have to do with Scotland and Ireland, just to keep me in the mood, and a few of them I'm looking forward to watching: Waking Ned Devine, The Wind that Shakes the Barley, and The General. Mainly because they have accents, but because of the scenery and history* as well.

Until next time, pray for ABJ and the Midwest Diocese. Having a special day for remembrance and prayer is great and wonderfuul, but daily prayers can also work miracles.

C.M.

* The historical value comes in The Wind that Shakes the Barley. It is about the Irish farmers' fight for independence from British rule in the early 20th century. After securing independence, civil war breaks out between the Irish brothers that fought together against the English.

The Newest Development

For those of you who haven't heard and who still check my blog (J, this is you!!), I received my papers (papiers in French) to move to Scotland two weeks ago, so I'll be heading there in 29 weeks. Come December 27, I'm headed across the pond to wherever I find a job. Currently I'm looking at a couple of different prospective lines of work. One would be somewhere in a recording studio. Seeing that my father does own one, and I love music, that would be quite an interesting time. The other is a far-off dream, however, it would be an amazing : www.carnegieclub.co.uk. Living in a castle basically serving rich Scots at a golf resort (yeah, I know, it's winter, but I'll be there till June and I'm sure they have stuff to do during the winter, such as FALCONRY!!!!). That would be quite an experience.

Until then, I graduate in August (granted that I pass the class I'm currently in that I really don't like). After graduation, it's just planning for my little excursion. My excursion to rolling hills, bagpipes, haggis, and endless, sweet, endless Guinness.

So, now most of you think I won't do it, but I will. So there. Believe me.

Ready for a Change

This can be a ranting and raving day. I think I just need one.

I've decided that school is going over its limit and should cease now. I feel like I've got forever go to even though I don't have more than two weeks left in the semester. After that, it should be a quick and easy spring, then an even quicker fall and I'm outta here. I don't think I'll ever look back, and I really don't think my current GPA will let me think about graduate studies. However, I'm waiting for my next wind. I thrive on those. Do you ever just feel like you're down and out and finally you get a bit of motivation and all of a sudden everything is clicking and all cylinders are working? Right now I don't really feel down and out, but I'm definitely out. I'm ready for summer, and it's not even Christmas. I will say that most of the words that I've written so far are coming from my sleep-deprived brain.

As for my heart, man it's getting to be a struggle!!! I've never really known how hard it is to constantly focus on what we should be focusing on. There's so much distraction, and for somebody who can actually have a conversation with himself, its even worse. I find myself fantisizing about all sorts of things from job interviews to the weekend plans to what I want for dinner to what assignments are due in the next week to wondering if a certain email will/has come to why do I always think about this stuff to these tangents are killing me to Lord, have mercy. I figure if I can end on that, I'll be ok for awhile. But seriously, I seem to be expending a lot of energy lately and I usually never feel like that. It just seems that as life is continuing, I have to work harder to "feel" happy or joyful. No, I'm not depressed, as I may be leading you to believe, but there are certain days where I just find myself funk-ie (adj. - in a funk).

The Colts not being able to hold a 14-point victory and Tony Dungy losing his first game EVER after having a 14-point lead doesn't really help the cause either. Neither does losing every game, save for the one game of backgammon, I have played these past couple of weeks.

Letting Go

I started this blog so I could get some thoughts out and to catch people up on my life, and to offer some consolations from my piddly mind. I also could use help with some matters. Comments Welcome. This is something that has bothered me for a very long time. In the words of many a "revivalist minister," 'Let Go, and Let God.' What does this look like in today's society? What does it physically entail? When I talk to my married guy friends about looking for a wife, they all say the same thing: "As soon as you stop looking, she'll come. As soon as you give it up to God and let Him have this care, He'll provide." Now don't get me wrong guys, this is great advice. But as a single man who really would like to someday have a wife, or at least the beginnings of one, this isn't what I want to hear. I want to hear about how I should pursue with reckless abandon. As I write that, I realize that is how I should be towards God. He's that way with me. "Chasing me like a lover, right through Heaven's gate," in the words of Bill Mallonee. I do realize that is how it should be. My purpose in this life is to love. To love God with all my heart, soul, body, and mind, and to love my neighbor as myself. I can see how to physically love my neighbor. We see it every day. And I know that Christ says "When you do this to the least of my Brethren, you do it unto Me." But am I really doing it to Christ? Am I really loving Him with every ounce of me? How do I do that? How do I let go and let God? I can pray all day long and 'say' that I want Him to have my cares and my stress and whatever else I feel like giving Him at that time, but how do I REALLY give it up? For now, I'll just say the Jesus prayer. . . Lord, Have Mercy.

Bottled Up

Wow, don't really know where that came from at all. I just got done yelling at M. over something that not only do I know nothing about, but is completely none of my business. It was strange because I could feel, as the conversation went on, anger bottling up inside me then just completely erupting. It was like I had no idea what was happening and was powerless to stop it. The tempter got a good one out of me there. Sorry, M.

On a lighter note, I had a neat thought today. I was reading about some Saints as I was eating today and something occurred to me: Kids don't grow up saying, "I want to be a Saint when I grow up." I was listening to a song on the radio, I think by Travis Tritt (yeah, I know, country; sometimes I just can't help myself), and it was about a kid who wanted to be a big singer guy. The chorus started out with "I'm going to be somebody." It then occurred to me that the Saints probably weren't saying they wanted to grow up "being somebody," either. They lived ultimately for God. There was one girl, it blows my mind thinking about this, Saint Agape, who was nine years old when she and her mother and two older sisters were arrested for being Christians. The Emperor, I believe it was Diocletian, had her whipped and beaten in order that the mother and daughters would renounce Jesus to save their daughter and sister. When they didn't yield, Agape was thrown into the fire and came out unburnt. They were all beheaded. This story just blew me away. A nine year old girl with that much faith. Why can't I have that much faith? Why can't I give my life like that? Why is my biggest problem figuring out what to do after I graduate? I wish I could follow Christ with that much determination. I wish I could have my eyes so heavily fixed on God and the Next World that I wouldn't care about "being somebody" in this world. My true desire (or what I want my true desire to be) is to be so focused on God that I am blind to this world. How do you do that? Yes, as Christians, our foremost task is to love God with all our hearts, bodies, minds, and souls, but how is that manifested today? Is it through a wife and kids? Is it through work? Is it through men's group? I'll marinade in these questions for a while. (And I'll pray that it's in a wife and kids)

. . . With Fear and Trembling

The verse of yesterday was when Saint Paul said we are to "work out our own salvation with fear and trembling, for God works within us." I think it was Saint Paul. Anyway, I was talking with D. about struggles of the heart and discerning whether or not I'm truly searching for Christ or just going through the motions. We got to talking about the Judgement Day and how we will stand before God not as ourselves as we are today, but as broken beings revealing our true selves. I like the way Lewis puts it. He says we will stand before God as a stripped-down version of ourselves. The central part of us that is formed and molded with every choice we make here on Earth is what God will judge. Basically, God will judge what is in our hearts. Lord, Have Mercy. I pray that my heart is truly desiring God and my outward self isn't just praying and studying and struggling simply because others do. I don't feel like that's what I'm doing, but sometimes I just feel like something's off. Maybe this inward struggle is a sign that I'm on the right track? My tempter is doing a great job of making me feel like something's wrong.

I finally got something done today that I've been putting off for 10 years. I'll put the finishing touches on it tomorrow and send it off. I won't give any more than that. If you read this, please pray for peace for its recipient and for me as well. My heart is going to be rather anxious for a while now, although it will be relieved.

Wanna Win with Money?

This post is basically free advertising for Dave Ramsey and the Lampo Group, Inc. Dave Ramsey is an author and financial counselor, and sort of a career icon for me. His books "Financial Peace" and "The Total Money Makeover" are not only best-sellers, but are extremely helpful to hundreds of thousands of people all over the nation. His radio show is the #1 nationally syndicated radio show today, reaching around 2 million people weekly, maybe daily, I didn't hear it too closely. Anyway, I would love to work for Dave someday, and I have already implemented his plan for getting my finances on track. His plan is based on common sense and ridding yourself of your debt. If you are having troubles catching up financially or just are wanting to find a way to build wealth, please check out his site, maybe even read one of his books. I've listened to the audio book of "The Total Money Makeover" three times this year, and I'll start it again soon. It really gets me pumped up to get my money under control. Anyway, there's my plug for that. Thanks for listening.

Post-Wednesday

Ok, so today's not Wednesday, but I was tired last night. So tonight's thoughts reflect last night's thoughts, I think. Billings, Montana. That is the subject. There is an OCA parish there, St. Nicholas, and it looks like a pretty cool place. For those who don't know where Billings is, it's in the south-central part of Montana. Billings is the Magic City, named because it "grew like magic." It also called the Big Sky City because the sky seems huge there, apparently. I would love to lay out in Montana on a clear night. So maybe that will be in the works soon. Probably not, but at least I can fantasize about it for a while. I think it's a pretty expensive place, so maybe I can find a small near Billings that I can live in, however, Montana State University is in Billings as well, so maybe the city is a little more affordable than rent.com leads it to be.

I'm procrastinating studying for my Environmental Geology midterm tomorrow. Yeah, Environmental Geology. Fun class, let me tell you. Right up there with Indiana Geology and Advanced Corporate Tax. This is my life this semester. Working easy shifts then going to school. It's not bad, but I just want it to be over. I want it to be over so I can move somewhere for awhile. I was thinking last night that I know I'll end up back in good ol' Crawfordsville or Indinanapolis to raise my kids, God willing. If I'm not supposed to have kids, I'd still like to end up back here because my home and friends are here. I won't say my family because I have the feeling that most of us will end up out of Indiana for a good deal of our lives. It would be great to raise our kids the way we were raised; spending every Sunday afternoon at Mom and Dad's playing tip-in while the kids play Sega and ping-pong downstairs. That would be nice though.

Time to study now. Goodbye.

Random non-Wednesday Thoughts

Today's thoughts are a compilation and a review of thoughts passed during the past several days. First of all, I realized directly after my first post, that I felt a lot better. Last Wednesday started out gloomy and slightly somber, however, after I posted those introductory thoughts, I felt good. A little lighter, I think. So now I know that this is working. Anyway, to the past few days.
Thursday night: I had a meeting at work and I felt super special because I sat in on little meetings with different breweries going over monthly numbers and plans for the holidays this year. That was nice. It gave me a boost to do well at work. Yeah, that boost is over with now, by the way.
Friday night: Men's Group. A good one, kind of quick, but good. It's interesting to think about death sometimes. The Gospel was about a young man who had died and was being carried to his tomb when Christ stopped the procession to raise him from the dead. What was it like to come back from being dead for a few days? Lazarus had been dead for three days and came back to life. What is that like? What is Heaven? Is it Heaven we go to, or to some waiting place? I know the Orthodox Church doesn't believe in purgatory, but do we believe in a direct entrance to Heaven, or is Hades just some waiting room that we sit in until the Second Coming? But then again, we are leaving time and space, like J.A. states a lot, so do we even realize there is a waiting period? Something to study for sure.
Saturday night: Date with a 26-year old teacher. Awesome food and GREAT beers, but defintely didn't hit it off. She was nice, but not really my type, and not as nuts as I like first dates to be.
Sunday: Liturgy (and I made it for the Antiphons, yes!!!), then home for a nap. That was a great nap, and I love my Sunday naps, although they can be too long sometimes. I just hate waking up. That's anytime at all, not just naps. Anyway, Sunday night led me to a family get together at Aunt S.'s. Beating J. in ping pong was definitely a long-awaited task. I was satisfied. A great talk with T. about N. and just how to help him in general. When we got home, Mom, Dad, and I had some uplifting conversation about my possible futures, N., and how to find myself. I haven't been open with Mom or Dad lately, which I regret, although sometimes I just don't know what to say. I'm not very good at expressing myself with words anymore.

To put this post to bed, I'm thinking about several different options for when I get out of school. Mom and Dad said I should try Alaska for a year, which would be awesome, so that could be a possibility. I'd have to talk with I. and A. about it and see how they like(d) it. I know it would be good for me, especially since I've had a rough past couple of years, spritually. The other options are stay here and work to pay everything off. I could see myself in Nashville working for Dave Ramsey, or maybe in California working and auditioning. That would be fun, and a good way to pursue a dream and say I've tried it. These possible futures will stay in the prayers.

The First Weary Wednesday

It is a slightly cloudy afternoon in the city of Indianapolis, sometimes referred to as Naptown by its inhabitants. This is one reason for the title Weary Wednesdays, mainly because these are my days off from work. During these so-called "off" days, I make the hour-long drive to campus from my home in an effort to get ahead with assignments, study for exams, or perhaps read or write. These are the Weary Wednesdays. Hump day, it is sometimes called. Getting out of bed so I may saunder over, jump, or dig through the hump is my first accomplishment here. Getting to school and actually doing something productive is the next. I'll count today as productive. I mean, c'mon, I've got a blog now.

There are several reasons for this blog. One is that everybody that is cool has one. Another is that it's a great way to get some much needed thoughts out since I hate reading past thoughts on paper. I think the reason that trumps all is the fact that my elder brother, J.T., has had one for a few years, and now I see the kind of man he is. He has always been an anchor, especially in the spiritual sense, to my ebbing and flowing soul. Through many talks we've had, I always know and feel his maturity. As I would read his blog, A.A., I have been able to recognize his trials and tribulations, and realize that he was able to think them through and overcome them. Prayer is powerful. That is one aspect of life that I have learned from him. Not only because he has said it, but because I see today how prayer has affected him. So, J.T., here's to me being a version of you at the same time in your life, struggling with the same things you've struggled with, and a maybe a few more. *enter clink of wine crystal or beer mugs here*

Just a small bit about myself for those who don't know me. I'm a senior at Indiana University in Indianapolis majoring in Accounting and Finance. I want to be a financial counselor so I can help people get on track to financial security and not worry about monetary issues in their retirement. I love children. I am College Mentor for Kids, which is a group of students from campus who meet once a week with kids from a local school who are considered "at-risk," basically meaning they don't have much of a chance or aren't pushed to go to college. I am from a small town, and I love that. It is fall right now and I love that as well. Once I get out of school, this blog will have to be changed to something other than Weary Wednesdays because Wednesday's probably won't be my day to do this. I have to put a plug in for the NapTown Beer and Bible Study group that I attend because everybody that has a blog and is in this group does. So, go NTBBS! I stock beer for a living and that's great too because I get a discount on my favorite kinds. I love porters, stouts, IPA's, and a good Stroh's.

Now you know me. The next blogs definitely won't be as long.