Ready for a Change

This can be a ranting and raving day. I think I just need one.

I've decided that school is going over its limit and should cease now. I feel like I've got forever go to even though I don't have more than two weeks left in the semester. After that, it should be a quick and easy spring, then an even quicker fall and I'm outta here. I don't think I'll ever look back, and I really don't think my current GPA will let me think about graduate studies. However, I'm waiting for my next wind. I thrive on those. Do you ever just feel like you're down and out and finally you get a bit of motivation and all of a sudden everything is clicking and all cylinders are working? Right now I don't really feel down and out, but I'm definitely out. I'm ready for summer, and it's not even Christmas. I will say that most of the words that I've written so far are coming from my sleep-deprived brain.

As for my heart, man it's getting to be a struggle!!! I've never really known how hard it is to constantly focus on what we should be focusing on. There's so much distraction, and for somebody who can actually have a conversation with himself, its even worse. I find myself fantisizing about all sorts of things from job interviews to the weekend plans to what I want for dinner to what assignments are due in the next week to wondering if a certain email will/has come to why do I always think about this stuff to these tangents are killing me to Lord, have mercy. I figure if I can end on that, I'll be ok for awhile. But seriously, I seem to be expending a lot of energy lately and I usually never feel like that. It just seems that as life is continuing, I have to work harder to "feel" happy or joyful. No, I'm not depressed, as I may be leading you to believe, but there are certain days where I just find myself funk-ie (adj. - in a funk).

The Colts not being able to hold a 14-point victory and Tony Dungy losing his first game EVER after having a 14-point lead doesn't really help the cause either. Neither does losing every game, save for the one game of backgammon, I have played these past couple of weeks.